"I have a problem", that is how many people often approach colleagues and bosses. We humans are fascinated by the problems of others because our basic instincts to both protect ourselves and see if we can benefit from 'the problem'. So we inevitably ask 'What is the problem?' Socially and politically asking more about the problem may not be a bad thing, but for a boss or colleague it can be very bad. Let me explain. 'What is the problem?' is an open ended question. As a result the pace, content, length and duration of the conversation is decided by the complainer, i.e. the person with the perceived 'problem'. If unchecked the complainer will rarely be brief. He or she will come to the point only after a lot of moaning and groaning, consuming a rather significant amount of the listeners patience, energy and time. This is exactly what the complainer seeks to achieve by their droning on. To get us to accept, that there is a problem and since we ...